How Reality Television Has Ruined the Black Women Community

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There is no doubt that drama-filled, reality television makes for good television. If it wasn’t all about making money, then maybe show producers would start making reality TV to be of some substance. But it seems as if the only intention of creating reality shows, nowadays, is to exploit certain demographics- specifically, the black female population. There are many shows out there that make black women, or women in general, look bad, but nothing takes the cake more than VH1’s Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta.

Of course, cable paying viewers would not want to watch a reality television show where all they did was value marriage, family, friendships, and actually talk out their problems instead of ‘snatching a bitch weave out’ every now and then. But the question is, why not? Why has exploiting and demeaning black women become the norm as a form of televised entertainment? Better yet, why has this become the influence for the growing generation of black females? It’s as though the female cast of Love and Hip Hop hasn’t realized that every time their life is broadcasted, that they are representing their mothers, children, families, and most importantly, their communities in a negative light. 

It’s bad enough that black women carry a social stigma because of the racial stereotypes placed on them, but this show doesn’t make it any better. 

As I tune in week after week- not because I actually enjoy it, but because I have hope that the cast will do something that will not have me in complete disgust- I see the morality of African-American women going even more downhill. 

But before I start getting bombarded with the criticism and negative feedback from black females saying “Well I’m not like that,” I want you to really dig deep into your life and ask yourself, “Have I done or reacted to a situation in a way that a cast member from Love and Hip Hop hasn’t?” And since black women love getting defensive…really think about the question before you respond.

Now, after reading my preceding paragraph, I bet most of you want to call me a “bitch”. But that is exactly the problem. These reality shows depict women taking pride in being called a bitch–whether it’s a ‘bad bitch,’ ‘number one bitch,’ or just a plain ol’ bitch. It’s literally gotten to the point where black women are competing to be the ‘top notch bitch,’ and the more of a bitch you are, the better. Of course, since these women are labeling themselves as bitches, men also think it’s okay to call them a bitch, and therefore, their children would think that this word is okay. See the cycle?

But wait, in order to be the ‘baddest bitch,’ you have to have the ‘look’ to go with it, which brings me to my next example of black women degradation.

Ever noticed while watching Love and Hip Hop that the camera is always finding its way to the biggest ass, breasts, or some body part that makes it seem like that’s all that defines the black female? Well, yeah! It’s because we have been brainwashed into believing so. As I look on social media, all I see are black women ‘showing off’ their bodies in a way that proves that they have no respect for themselves. Nowadays, every female is a “model,” and is getting paid to make appearances because they have a fat ass, but not because of what they can bring to the table mentally. A photo of a woman posing nude gets 1,898,738 likes, meanwhile, she posts a picture of her college diploma and gets 89 likes. But black women can’t have that. The less likes they get, the less important they are and that is what reality tv has forced them to believe. Now, when other races look at us, all they can see is a black, juicy-lipped, fat ass, big-breasted, selfie-taking female, that can probably give good oral sex, but is dumb as hell. But, you black women still want to look up to the cast of Love and Hop Hop, right?

And lastly, Love and Hip Hop has completely destroyed the sanctity of marriage. Now, it is okay for a man to be married but have his other woman on the side. Because of this show, black women are becoming okay with having polygamous marriages, as long as they are the ‘main bitch.’ It’s gotten to the point where the females are creating bonds and friendships with the ‘side chick.’

It is obvious that nobody wants to take blame for this type of behavior and that black women are in denial that reality television hasn’t impacted their life in any way. But before we start playing the blame game, we need to look around and not just think of it as ‘their’ problem, but the ‘black woman’ problem. 

INSTAGRAM: @fritzyindiguise

FACEBOOK: The 411 with Ashley Kay & Fritzy

Signs that your Spouse is Cheating on You

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Okay, so we all like to debate the topic of which gender cheats more…women or men…and although the percentage of women that cheated on their husband has skyrocketed tremendously, men still take the cake at 70 percent. For this sake, I will write about the latter half. So ladies, are you dying to know the signs of a cheating man?

Are there times when he excuses himself during a phone call?

This isn’t a good sign, especially, if he has no problem obnoxiously discussing sports with his boys, but suddenly steps outside or to another room, when the so-called “cheatee” calls his phone.

Guards his phone like it’s a baby?

That’s definitely a red flag. If we are supposed to ‘trust’ each other, then you shouldn’t have a problem with me borrowing your phone if my battery dies, or utilizing your phone camera, in case I left mine in the car. However, if you have an over the top password code, as if you have the cure for AIDS in your notepad app, then it is obvious that you are hiding something. It becomes even more suspicious if, before you let me borrow your phone, you spend about five minutes deleting/inspecting all the things you don’t want me to see.

Empty Phone?

As mentioned above, someone that wants to hide something will surely hide it by pretending it never existed. You look in your man’s text messages or calls and see that most of them are deleted. Pretty odd for someone that seems to be on their phone all day. Also, beware of unknown names or initials. Men have a tendency to change ‘Stacy’s’ name to ‘SP’ or ‘John’ just to throw you off.

Gets angrier than you when you catch him in a lie?

Don’t let a man con you into thinking you’ve done something wrong when you have hard proof evidence of his senseless behavior. Did you see nude photos of another woman in his phone? That’s enough evidence to convict your man and confront him about it. But if he starts yelling and pulling out the ‘you don’t trust me enough’ card, then he is obviously trying to downplay the fact that he got caught. Let him know that your anger can overpower his, and walk away as form of his punishment. If you decide to give him another chance, you cannot give him the habit of putting the blame on you whenever he gets caught red handed.

Have a gut feeling?

Women love being in denial, however, if you feel it in your gut that your man is cheating, chances are, he is. We love to say, “Well, he is with me all the time so he couldn’t have time to cheat,” or, “She doesn’t do half the things that I do, so he couldn’t possibly want her.” Stop belittling yourself just to fit the standards of a man who’s a dog. You know you deserve better. We have pretty sharp instincts, so if you feel that your man is sleeping around, trust your instincts in knowing that you will find someone better.

INSTAGRAM: @fritzyindiguise

FACEBOOK: The 411 with Ashley Kay & Fritzy

The Cons of Having a Threesome with your Significant Other!!!

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Ever thought about the pros of having a threesome with your significant other? Well, here’s some news…there aren’t any.

Cosmopolitan’s relationship expert explains that, “threesomes are an emotional minefield that even the most self-assured couples struggle to navigate…Watching your lover writhing naked with someone else is bound to hurt. The same goes for participating in a threesome as the third-party. Entering into a bed that is already so intimate for two people can be a difficult role to take on. This could also make future dinner parties and get-togethers extremely uncomfortable for years to come.”

Before you begin living a fantasy world in your head, start weighing out all the CONS of a threesome:

1) After you’ve engaged in hot, raunchy sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend and a third party, you risk jealousy issues within your relationship. If you and your partner had already perfected the virtue of trust prior to a threesome, then believe me, having a threesome won’t better the trust…it’ll just taint it. This is true especially, if only one partner consents to having a threesome, just to make the other one happy.

2) What if one of the partners develops feelings for the third-comer? Whether it be a hot stranger (bad idea) or a close friend (extremely bad idea), can you imagine your boyfriend/girlfriend getting the BEST sex of their life…from someone else? And you’d never be able to tell what your partner is feeling, until one day you wake up and they say to you, “I am leaving you for (insert third party’s name here).” Either that or they will continue having sex with each other, without you present of course.

3) I know this one sounds cliché, but if you do risk having a threesome, then you also risk safety. STD’s anyone? You don’t know what this newcomer has and you don’t want to risk 15 minutes of pleasure for 15 months of pain. Or maybe even more. What if the newcomer gets pregnant? That’s about 15 years of pain.

4) After the threesome, you wonder to yourself, “What have I accomplished?” That’s right kiddo! The answer is nothing. Do you feel more sexually satisfied because you’ve gotten your partner to agree to a threesome? Shouldn’t a relationship be about being satisfied with just each other? And after having one threesome, are you going to want another one? Well, that’s just selfish.

I haven’t came across one single relationship that was successful after engaging in a threesome. And why? Because threesomes are a line that shouldn’t be crossed when you’re in a relationship…not in a serious one at least.

Maybe you guys can share your experiences and thoughts on this “touchy” subject…

INSTAGRAM: @fritzyindisguise

FACEBOOK: The 411 with Ashley Kay & Fritzy